Marriage Counseling For Infidelity
Has Your Marriage Been Threatened By An Affair?
If you recently learned that your spouse had an affair , you probably feel hurt, betrayed and devastated. If you’ve had the affair, you may be filled with guilt and fear that your marriage may be over. For both of you, when an affair has happened, the trust, respect, security and love in the marriage has been damaged. And marriage counseling for infidelity
You may have tried talking with your spouse to sort out your feelings or to see how the marriage can be repaired. But you can’t seem to get through the questions that are swirling in your head. Or maybe you and your spouse are afraid to discuss the betrayal. You may be asking yourself how you can heal after infidelity. Are you wondering how marriage counseling for infidelity can help to repair your relationship?
Do your conversations frequently end in anger, frustration, resentment and tears? Are there so many questions about betrayal that you can never get a clear answer on what happened? Do you or your spouse get defensive anytime you try to talk about each others feelings? Or maybe you both are trying to talk a little, but find yourselves caught up in unproductive conversations.
Before the affair, your belief about your relationship was that your marriage was in a good place or at least not as bad as the way you see it now. And ever since the truth came out, your belief about yourself, your marriage and life has been shattered.
The impact of an emotional or physical affair can be devastating. You may wonder if you can save your marriage after infidelity, or you question if it’s even worth it. You might not know what you want right now. And not knowing right now is okay.
The Aftermath Of An Affair Can Feel Like An Emotional Roller Coaster
After an affair, the foundation of what your relationship was built on seems forever shattered. Affairs cause feelings of self-doubt, confusion and deep hurt, as well as destroy feelings of trust and commitment. There is often distance between partners after learning about an affair which can lead to harm that never gets resolved.
When couples try to move forward in their marriage, it is nearly impossible without ongoing, open and honest communication. Most couples need objective support during their work in healing from infidelity. And the objective support is nearly impossible to have with friends or family. Both individuals need to talk and listen to each other, and this task is very difficult without an objective counselor who has worked with other couples dealing with infidelity.
You Can Save Your Marriage After Infidelity
Even though you may think a marriage will end because of infidelity, there is still hope that you both can have a better and stronger marriage. Is your marriage something worth trying to save? Are you and your spouse willing to look at your marriage with openness and honesty?
Can you both use the support from a marriage counselor that can help guide you through a structured process to release difficult emotions, recognize what happened and explore conversations that repair relationships? Do you both want to learn effective communication skills that build healthy and solid marriages? If you are willing to try, then it may be possible to save your marriage.
Benefits of Marriage Counseling For Infidelity
Therapy can help you heal from the affair and move forward in your life – with or without your partner. Whether you decide to attend counseling alone or with your partner depends on what you want.
Benefits for Individuals:
- Heal the pain, confusion or guilt
- Understand why the affair occurred
- Decide if you want to stay with your partner
Benefits for Couples:
- only way that increases a couple’s chance of working thru infidelity
- Repair trust in the relationship
- Become closer than you’ve been before
- Affair-proof your marriage for the future
Either Way, You Will be Okay
Some people begin counseling individually to gain some direction on how to begin talking with their spouse about infidelity. You may be the one who had the affair and are feeling confused how to break the news or how your marriage can survive the aftermath of an affair. Or you are the spouse who just learned that your partner has betrayed your trust.
Marriage counseling for infidelity is hard work. If you are committed to working on your relationship and giving it one last effort to determine if you can save your marriage, then this is the first step towards hope and healing. If you are not sure you want to work on your marriage, but want someone to talk with to sort your thoughts and emotions out with, you will also benefit by counseling.
Either way, I will be there with you to work through very difficult thoughts, emotions, trust issues and all that pertains to your specific circumstances. You will have someone who will be there without judgement, to listen to your thoughts, identify what isn’t working, and support you while you determine what is best for you.
Still Don’t Know if Marriage Counseling Can Help After Infidelity?
How long do you want to hold onto the pain from infidelity and keep suffering in silence? Isn’t it getting harder to continue to show up at work, family occasions or get together with friends putting on a front that you and your marriage are perfectly fine?
No matter where you are in your thoughts and emotions, you and your spouse have built a life together. No one enters a marriage prepared with the skills on how to handle an affair. So why try to figure out this one on your own?
Wouldn’t you feel better working with a professional who has experience working with many couples that have survived an affair? I can help you get the conversations started that will help you learn what needs to be worked on to have your marriage move forward. I have successfully worked with many individuals and couples who have experienced infidelity. It is possible to get through this. You just need someone who knows how to navigate through your pain.
One Last Thing to Know
I am trained in the Gottman Method to work with couples to disarm conflicting verbal communication; increase intimacy, respect, and affection; remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy; and create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding within the context of the relationship. This method incorporates researched based interventions over the span of 40 years, specifically to help couples.
If you want your marriage to survive despite an affair, you have a greater likelihood if you go to counseling. Most couples don’t know how to talk about their raw emotions, marriage problems or how to navigate conversations to bring healing to their relationship. Even if you believe your marriage is over, to walk away from a marriage with a clear conscience that you tried everything to save your relationship, will be most helpful in healing.
Maybe you feel that a second chance is not warranted. You may be right. But you will never know unless you give it one last chance. You deserve to know what could have been if you showed up to have a conversation about the most painful emotion, betrayal.
Are You Ready To Move Your Marriage In A Better Direction?
If you are ready to take the next to see how marriage counseling for infidelity can help you, I offer a free 15-minute phone consultation to see if we are a good fit. I invite you to contact me at (631) 406-3139.