Marriage Counseling After an Affair

Couples Counseling After an Affair for Me?

You may be reading this and question if counseling after an affair will save your relationship. The impact of an emotional or physical affair can be devastating. You feel shocked, hurt, and confused. You might have never thought that your partner would betray you. Your relationship might be hanging by the shreds. You may wonder if you can save your marriage after an affair…or if you even want to. You might not know what you want right now. You’re overwhelmed with emotions and question how you can heal from an affair.

Marriage Therapy After an Affair

Three Stages to Heal a Marriage After an Affair

According to the Gottmans, the These 3 Stages are:

  • Attone – Although this is a hard process to go through, the person who had the affair needs to listen to their partner they betrayed.
  • Attune – Both partners need to determine where things went wrong in their relationship before the affair. An affair is the result of needs (sexual, emotional, unresolved childhood conflicts, etc.) not getting met in a relationship, but that does not condone one having an affair.
  • Attach – If after the first two steps have been successful and the couple wants to stay together, this is where trust and intimacy are worked on to heal and become truly committed to the relationship.

Benefits of Therapy After an Affair

Therapy can help you heal from the affair and move forward in your life – with or without your partner. Whether you decide to attend counseling alone or with your partner depends on what you want.

Benefits for Individuals:

Benefits of Therapy After an Affair

  • Heal the pain, confusion or guilt
  • Understand why the affair occurred
  • Decide if you want to stay with your partner

Benefits for Couples:

  • only way that increases a couple’s chance of working thru infidelity
  • Repair trust in the relationship
  • Become closer than you’ve been before
  • Affair-proof your marriage for the future

Either Way, You Will be Okay

Some people begin counseling individually to gain some direction on how to begin talking with their spouse about infidelity. You may be the one who had the affair and are feeling confused how to break the news or how your marriage can survive the aftermath of an affair. Or you are the spouse who just learned that your partner has betrayed your trust.

Couples Counseling after an affair is hard work. If you are committed to working on your relationship and giving it one last effort to determine if you can save your marriage, then this is the first step towards hope and healing. If you are not sure you want to work on your marriage, but want someone to talk with to sort your thoughts and emotions out with, you will also benefit by counseling.

Either way, I will be there with you to work through very difficult thoughts, emotions, trust issues and all that pertains to your specific circumstances. You will have someone who will be there without judgement, to listen to your thoughts, identify what isn’t working, and support you while you determine what is best for you.

How Marriage Therapy Can Help You

Still Don’t Know if Couples Counseling Can Help After an Affair?

How long do you want to hold onto the pain from infidelity and keep suffering in silence? Isn’t it getting harder to continue to show up at work, family occasions or get together with friends putting on a front that you and your marriage are perfectly fine?

No matter where you are in your thoughts and emotions, you and your spouse have built a life together. You may even have children that will be affected by what you decide to do. No one enters a marriage prepared with the skills on how to handle an affair. So why try to figure out this on your own? Most couples who do not go to therapy to work through infidelity, have a higher likelihood to get divorced than those who seek professional counseling.

Wouldn’t you feel better working with a professional who has the experience working with many individuals and couples that have survived an affair? I can help you get the conversations started that will help you learn where your marriage broke down, what needs to be worked on to have your marriage move forward and have a chance to survive the aftermath of infidelity. I have successfully worked with many individuals and couples who have experienced infidelity. You too can get through this. You just need someone who knows how to navigate through your pain.

One Last Thing to Know

If you want your marriage to survive despite an affair, you have a greater likelihood if you go to counseling. Most couples don’t know how to talk about their raw emotions, marriage problems or how to navigate conversations to bring healing to their relationship. Those that choose not to seek counseling, have a greater outcome of ending their relationship, despite wanting to stay married. Even if you believe your marriage is over, to walk away from a marriage with a clear conscience that you tried everything to save your relationship, will be most helpful in healing.

Affair Proof Your Marriage

Maybe you feel that a second chance is not warranted. You may be right. But you will never know unless you give it one last chance. You deserve to know what could have been if you showed up to have a conversation about the most painful emotion, betrayal.

Let’s get you back on track with a plan to stop the suffering and move your forward to healing. Life can be Good Again!

Contact me to find out more about affair recovery counseling.



249 East Main Street Suite #3
East Setauket, NY 11733

Positivetherapyservices.ny@gmail.com
(631) 406-3139

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