Are Communication Issues And Decreased Intimacy Threatening Your Marriage?
- Are you wondering if marriage counseling is worth trying?
- Are you experiencing recurring arguments leaving you to feel disconnected from your spouse?
- Are you missing the ease of communication and affection you both had in the beginning of your marriage?
- Are you yearning for your relationship to be in a better place?
- Or maybe you believe you’ve tried too many times to make this work. You’re feeling exhausted and frustrated that things haven’t improved.
- You may even be feeling so defeated, that you’re having thoughts of leaving your spouse to stop the pain, isolation, and loneliness.
Feelings of discouragement may be occurring. You’ve tried to fix your relationship problems, but still have not resolved the core issues. All this is leading you to have unproductive conversations and increased resentment. You may be finding yourself avoiding topics that have only led to more arguments and frustration. As a result, intimacy has decreased leaving you to feel even more disconnected. And questioning how marriage counseling can help you.
This list of unresolved conflicts is making you question if you were wrong about your relationship. Or how to move forward out of this relationship rut. There is so much to lose. And you’re wondering if marriage counseling could help you turn your relationship around and start enjoying each other again.
Do you want to learn how to better communicate with your spouse through skills and techniques that are research driven? Are you ready to work with someone who is passionate about couple’s work? And someone who can show you how to restore the romance and connection you used to have?
Every Relationship Comes to a Fork in Their Road
It happens to the best of all relationships. Every marriage comes to a point where a couple needs to decide if they can move forward together, or go separate ways. Each marriage has its own list of challenges. Sometimes it feels like there is no clear path on finding the passion, joy or love that brought you two together.
People are hard-wired for social connection and romantic partnerships are one of the most rewarding connections in life. When a marriage is healthy, nurturing, and well-balanced, this relationship can be a source of comfort, security, joy, and support. However, when a marriage continues to have difficulty, over time the foundation of what makes a relationship strong, erodes and only pain exists where love and joy once were.
This relationship rut can be caused by many factors such as: poor communication, life circumstances, work demands, loss, or life transitions. You may have thought your relationship skills worked. But as life demands have changed, you’ve learned that these skills are not working now. This realization identifies the need to develop new conflict management and communication skills, for both of you.
Want to learn how to stop a misunderstanding from growing into a full argument? Want to be seen, heard and loved by your partner? Are you wondering how your words can either bring closeness and connection? Or why your spouse has a strong emotional response that leads to emotional and physical distancing? Are you tired of feeling the pain of isolation in your marriage?
Marriage Counseling Can Help You Learn How To Be A Better Partner
Most couples begin counseling by identifying obvious problems such as: increased arguments, lack of communication, loss of intimacy, or different parenting techniques. Couples often look to have their partner change, so they can go back to feeling better.
My role as a marriage counselor is to be supportive to both individuals. I will not pick sides, judge or solve your problems. As a counselor, I can help both you and your partner learn:
- how to disarm conflicting verbal communication
- increase intimacy, respect, and affection
- remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy
- and create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding as it relates to you and your partner
In counseling, you will learn all the variables that build a solid marriage. As well as what causes a breakdown in your conversations. You will be supported as you both practice new skills in session that you will take outside of counseling. Plus, you will be provided materials to take home and use. This will be yours to have even after counseling ends so you both can continue growing together and navigate new terrain as life unfolds.
Couples who managed their conflicts effectively are better able to have long lasting, and satisfying relationships. It’s not about never having conflict, because there is always going to be something that you both will disagree about. It’s about how you both manage your conflicts that will determine your relationship satisfaction.
Still Have Questions About Marriage Counseling?
Will Counseling Work for Us?
There are no guarantees that marriage counseling will fix everything in your relationship. By working with a marriage counselor, you will learn how to have difficult conversations, come to resolve conflicts feeling good about your relationship, and leave with tools that work for both of you.
How Long Do Most Couples Go to Counseling?
Today, most people I see are motivated to attend marriage counseling on a bi-weekly basis, after a few weekly sessions to get them started. This works great for most couples as it will allow both individuals time to process information from their counseling, and practice new skills that were learned in their session(s).
Every marriage has their own challenges they would like to work through, which dictates how long they attend counseling. The intensity of relationship challenges will also impact the time needed for marriage counseling.
You’ll be surprised at how quickly you both can begin to feel better about your marriage. My goal is to help you learn how to build a solid relationship with a skill set designed to meet your personal needs, so you both can feel confident when you decide to end counseling.
What If We Still Don’t See Progress After Spending Time In Marriage Counseling?
Nothing is guaranteed. But after some time in counseling, you will at least understand what is at the core of your relationship conflicts. I am confident that you will both gain a better understanding of yourself and your partner, learn better communication skills, and techniques that can build emotional connection.
How Is My Counseling Different Than Other Therapists?
There are plenty of therapists that will provide marriage counseling, but most are not trained in the Gottman Method. Gottman trained therapists are the most sought-after type of counselors that professionals in spiritual, medical, and psychological facilities look to refer couples to. The Gottman Method is the only research-based method designed specifically for couples. This method has also been able to predict relationship continuity with over 90% accuracy. The Gottman Method’s research driven skills and materials are easy to learn and use, in and outside of marriage counseling.
I am told by many couples that they feel comfortable discussing their personal struggles with me, knowing that they will be supported throughout their work with me. The work we do in sessions are able to be practiced outside of counseling. This allows couples to identify what is working and where they are still struggling after using the tools learned in session. This decreases the amount of time needed for counseling and increases the couple’s confidence that they can begin to tackle more on their own.
I make it a priority to have both individuals feel safe, seen, heard and respected in sessions because I know how important this is for couples as they process sensitive topics that are personal to them. I am truly invested in seeing couples make gains in their marriages.
Lastly, I am very passionate about couples work which leads me to seek out the most current and effective trainings, as well as practicing these same skills in my own marriage of 25+ years with my husband.
Call Now to Schedule Your Marriage Counseling Appointment
Take the next step to improve your marriage, by calling me at (631) 406-3139. I offer a free 15-minute phone consultation to answer any of your questions and to see if we are a good fit. Call now to get started.