Feeling Lost In A Tunnel Of Grief?
Did grief put you in a place you always knew existed, but never thought you would find yourself in, especially not now? Wondering if Grief Counseling is right for you?
Are you asking yourself some of the following questions:
- How long does it take to grieve a loved one? Am I even grieving the right way?
- What am I going to do without my loved one? How can I ever move forward in life without them?
- Why do I feel calm one minute and then I’m filled with such intense emotions the next? Can grief get worse?
- Could I have done anything differently that would have prevented my loss?
- Why didn’t I tell them how much I loved them? I have regrets that I didn’t get to resolve with my loved one, and now it’s too late.
- Why do my family & friends have a different experience after the same types of loss? Sometimes I feel my grief is ruining my relationships.
Is the pain so overwhelming that you can’t seem to stop crying or thinking about your loved one? Does your pain stop you from wanting to do anything, like spending time with friends or family? It all seems too much to handle, and you may feel like others don’t understand what you’re going through. Maybe you’re thinking they would not want to be around you if you keep sharing what you really are feeling.
Even day-to-day activities seem overwhelming. You might have even lost the feeling of caring about your job, home, hobbies, and yourself. You can’t seem to get through simple tasks without going back to the pain that seems to never leave. It’s as though your grief is like an endless dark tunnel and you can’t see any light.
Are You Feeling Overwhelmed and Isolated in Your Grief?
The loss may have been medically expected or terribly unpredicted. You may even be thinking that you should be much further along in your grief journey because you knew about your loved one’s illness. Or maybe your loved one died unexpectedly and you’re feeling stuck in thoughts that they should still be here.
Although you may have felt supported by others when you first lost your loved one, you may be feeling that enough time has gone on where others expect you to be able to return to the person you used to be. You may be feeling under a lot of pressure by friends, family, and co-workers, to pull yourself together and return back to the person you used to be. This only makes you feel worse, more isolated, and overwhelmed. The truth is, we are not the same person after a loss.
The good news however, is that with the help of a compassionate, experienced grief educator and counselor, you can:
– Have a place to talk about your grief without judgment.
– Explore your relationship with your loved one and all that came with it, good and bad.
– Address fears of moving forward or staying stuck right where you are.
– Process unresolved concerns that may bring up more anger or guilt.
– Identify what you need to integrate your loss into your life.
– And anything else that you need to explore with someone who has experienced many different types of losses and understands how grief affects us all universally and personally.
Adapting to a loss can be extremely challenging and can feel like a betrayal. This reasoning can leave people feeling stuck. Grief counseling can help individuals reorient and restructure their lives after a loss, while maintaining a connection with their loved.
Help Move Pain to Love
Grief counseling isn’t some miracle cure for dealing with loss. It will not help you forget about a deceased loved one nor avoid the pain that accompanies loss. Instead, it can help the bereaved understand, accept, and manage emotions with the hope to live a full life where your loved one is remembered more with love than pain.
A part of you died with your loved one and a part of them still lives on in you. You have memories, places and things that constantly remind you of your loved one. Grief counseling will help you work through difficult emotions that come up during these reminders. Instead of running from these reminders, you will be encouraged and supported as you continue to work through the pain. You can move forward in life only if you allow yourself to go through your grief. And that’s where I can help.
You will learn what your loss means to you and discover what you need to heal your heart while honoring the love you carry for your loved one. Although you will always miss your loved one, the pain does not need to be as intense, heavy, and exhausting as it is in the beginning.
Counseling will help you have a safe space to process the challenges that arise from grief, navigate through difficult memories and emotions, build a strong support system to end feelings of isolation, and find a way to move forward even if you currently feel stuck.
But You May Still Have Questions About Grief Counseling:
Can’t I Just Grieve On My Own?
Accepting loss and dealing with the emotions that come with it is a painful process and is hard work. Although people can work through grief on their own, we are not meant to grieve in isolation. Even with the best support systems and coping skills, you may be struggling to cope and may benefit from counseling.
Grief Counseling helps individuals work through the various stages and emotions of grief following a loss. Counseling can help you avoid some of the more acute manifestations of grief and process your emotions in a healthy manner.
Will Grief Counseling Make Me Feel Worse?
Many people respond to a loss and the pain that accompanies loss, by trying to avoid it and suppress their emotions. This only prolongs suffering. Although pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. Pain is part of the love. Suffering is the false stories the mind tells because it can not conceive of death as random. People often search for a reason to find fault or blame on why a loved one died.
An essential part of managing grief is by experiencing the pain that comes from a loss. Feeling your feelings in a healthy way will lead to healing. Nothing is more painful than what you have already experienced. Although initially in session you may feel worse, talking to someone who understands how hard grief can be, on so many levels, you can find yourself feeling better, in due time. And if it takes a while for you to get there, I get it. You will have someone who has experienced enough loss to understand that:
- Grief takes its own time to heal and every loss is different in the amount of time it needs before an individual can begin to move forward.
- Grief is not linear. The 5 stages of grief are a process that one fluctuates through and often feels like a rollercoaster of emotions as you go back and forth through these emotions.
- No one can judge grief as progress or setbacks. Grief is a normal and natural experience, mixed with many emotions that will wax and wane over the course of one’s life.
- And lastly, although grief is complicated and the process can be prolonged, I don’t believe grief is a disorder.
The level of difficulty in grieving depends on 1) the relationship with the person/thing that is now gone, 2) the circumstances that led up to loss 3) your coping skills in dealing with difficult emotions and 4) the support you have around to help you.
I Still Don’t Know If I Need Counseling
If you are feeling stuck in your emotions, whether your loss is recent or from past, counseling can be the key to learn how to move through your pain. You don’t need to suffer, you just need to have some direction on how to move forward with your loss.
I know how difficult loss is as I have experienced many losses since early childhood. I have been trained by the world’s top grief expert,David Kessler as a Certified Grief Educator. As a Certified Grief Educator and Counselor, I am committed to providing the highest level of grief support through education, experience and insights into the often unacknowledged rocky terrain of grief.
Call To Schedule Your Appointment With A Grief Educator and Counselor
If you are trying to navigate through the maze of grieving and would like to talk with someone who can help you find understanding, compassion, acceptance of self, peace and heal after your loss, please contact me at (631) 406-3139. I genuinely look forward to speaking with you and see how I can support you through your grief.